5 Tips for Fixing a Sexless Marriage
A sexless marriage typically means having sex with your partner less than once a month or ten times a year. This can happen for many reasons, like mismatched libidos, lack of emotional intimacy, stress, medical issues, or relationship problems. It may take work, but reigniting your sex life is absolutely possible.
A sexless marriage doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. With understanding, effort, and commitment to improving intimacy on both sides, you can have a happy, fulfilling partnership once more. The journey may not always be easy, but the rewards of reconnecting with your spouse are well worth it.
1. Open Communication Is Key
Talking about sex with your partner isn't easy, but avoiding the conversation will only make things worse. You need to openly and honestly discuss how to rekindle your physical connection.
Start by sharing how the lack of intimacy makes you feel without accusations. Say something like, "I miss being close to you and want us to work on improving our sex life." Then listen to your partner's perspective with an open mind. Compromise and be willing to try new things.
The key is speaking up in a caring, compassionate way. While it may feel awkward, talking about sex will help you better understand each other's needs and find that spark again.
2. Identify the Cause
A sexless marriage doesn't just happen overnight. There is usually an underlying issue causing intimacy to fade. As a couple, have an open and honest conversation about your sex life. Discuss your frustrations, desires, and what's changed. Be willing to listen without judgment.
The cause could be as simple as different sex drives or exhaustion from work and family responsibilities. Or it could be a symptom of relationship issues, like lack of emotional intimacy, built-up resentment, or loss of attraction.
3. Take Care of Yourself
Making time for yourself is key. When life gets busy, self-care is often the first thing to go. When you're feeling sexually frustrated or disconnected, it's easy to blame your partner. But remember, you're half of this partnership.
Are you making self-care a priority? Exercise, eat healthy, engage in hobbies, and do things that boost your confidence and mood. Try waking up 30 minutes early to do light exercises like yoga or walking. Read a book, take a bath, and cook a healthy meal. Do small things each day that fill your own cup. When you feel good about yourself, you'll have more emotional and physical energy to devote to your relationship. Your relationship will benefit from a happier, less stressed you.
4. Rekindle Emotional Intimacy
Take a walk down memory lane. Looking through old photos together can help remind you both of the good times you've shared. Laugh over funny memories and share what you loved about your early days as a couple. This can help recapture the emotional connection you once had.
5. Consider Therapy
Seeking counselling or sex therapy can be helpful for improving intimacy in your relationship. A therapist can provide a neutral space for you and your partner to openly discuss your challenges, desires, and feelings about sex. They are trained to uncover the root causes of issues like low libido or lack of sexual satisfaction. You may discover there are relationship problems to work through, past hurts to heal, or simply a lack of communication around sex.
If your sex life has gone from hot and heavy to cold, it may be time to talk to a professional. Sex therapy can help determine the root cause of your issue and get you back on track to a healthy, fulfilling sex life. I am a licensed sex therapist and have helped countless couples reignite their passion and strengthen their emotional intimacy. Contact me today to schedule your first appointment.
