Marriage Counseling
Is Frequent Conflict And Misunderstanding Causing You To Feel Discouraged In Your Relationships?
Are you looking to strengthen your relationship(s)?
Is it difficult to make time for your partnership while balancing work, parenting responsibilities, and other obligations?
As a result, do you regularly encounter conflict, communication setbacks, challenges with intimacy, or other common issues affecting couples?
No matter what stage you’re in as a couple, there are common pitfalls that can create problems in your relationship or marriage. If your partnership is relatively new, you might wonder what you can do to deepen your connection and avoid unhealthy patterns from the past. And if you’re married or in a long-term relationship, you may be looking for ways to sustain the romance.
Though your relationship doesn’t have to be in crisis to benefit from couples counseling, it’s important to seek guidance if you’re experiencing problems with intimacy or considering leaving your marriage. Maybe anger, jealousy, and frustration have become the predominant feelings expressed between you two and you can’t seem to figure out how to get on the same page again. Whether the conflict is a result of a major event—such as a significant transition or instance of infidelity—or the resentment has been brewing beneath the surface for years, the outside perspective of a therapist can help you get to the core of the issues as a couple.
Marriage Counseling Concepts Are Applicable To A Variety Of Relationships
Straight, cis, and monogamous partnerships are not the only ones that can benefit from counseling. Maybe you identify as LGBTQIA+, and you’re looking for someone with experience counseling gay, lesbian, and queer couples. Or perhaps you’re in a poly relationship and seeking support from a trained, identity-affirming clinician. It’s essential that therapists counseling a diverse array of couples be culturally competent, nonjudgmental, and unbiased.
On the other hand, you may be seeking counseling for a non-romantic relationship in your life. Feelings of disconnection, rejection, and discontent can have harmful ramifications on our friendships, which are some of the most important relationships we have. Or perhaps you’re experiencing tension with a business partner or colleague and looking to create a more collaborative relationship for the sake of your work performance and mental health.
Healthy relationships are essential to our success. Whether you’re experiencing problems as a new couple, in a long-term marriage, or as part of a non-romantic relationship, The Gottman Method and other couples counseling approaches can benefit all of your connections.
Have any questions? Send us a message!
We Aren’t Taught How To Fight Fairly
Before you become too hard on yourself—or your partner—for the issues you’re having in the relationship, it’s important to remember that none of us receive direct instructions about effectively communicating. Most of what we learn comes from what is modeled to us by our family-of-origin, and for many of us, that model was often dysfunctional. As a result, we may not fully understand what healthy communication looks like.
Unfortunately, however, unless our marriage is in crisis or we’re experiencing severe problems in our relationship, we don’t see the value of couples counseling. There is a misconception that counseling is only for couples experiencing intimacy issues or betrayal. Yet, the healthiest relationships are the ones that seek help before there is a crisis. Because therapy teaches communication skills and conflict-resolution techniques for managing ongoing issues, counseling is a valuable, proactive measure that any couple can take to bolster strength and intimacy in their relationship.
Throughout the decades of experience we’ve had working as couples counselors and certified sex therapists, we have seen the power of counseling firsthand. We know that applying widely practiced, verified marriage counseling techniques to any relationship at any stage can help to improve all of your connections.
From Platonic Relationships To Long-Term Marriages, Counseling Offers Essential Interpersonal Skills
Oftentimes as partners navigate conflict, the mentality of “taking sides” quickly takes over, making it hard for couples to hear and understand one another genuinely. But therapy provides a safe, neutral environment where relationships can thrive. Not only will you learn effective communication tools that you can use instantaneously–you’ll also develop a thorough understanding of how relationships from your past have contributed to current interpersonal conflict.
With the insights you gain in couples counseling, you will be more intentional in your marriage or partnership and the relationship you have with yourself.
The Therapeutic Process
I tailor couples therapy to meet the needs of each client, so there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the process. However, the first four sessions of counseling are typically assessment-oriented to give me an idea of your individual history, relationship background, and goals for therapy. We will usually meet with both of you for our first session and then meet with you individually for one session each before coming back together as a couple for the remainder of therapy.
As each of you understands more about interpersonal differences and attachment injuries from your past, you’ll be able to take more accountability for your role in the relationship. In identifying the ways you’re contributing to the problems in your marriage or relationship as individuals, you’ll have an opportunity to practice the skills you learn in counseling in real time.
My Approach
I primarily draw from The Gottman Method, which was initially created as an approach to marriage counseling. Developed by married couple Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this therapeutic approach bolsters emotional awareness, teaches healthy conflict, and targets common issues including intimacy, parenting, and finances. However, because The Gottman Method places a high value on friendship and communication, its framework can be applied to romantic, platonic, familial relationships, and individual relationship counseling.
We often tell our clients that you wouldn’t get into a car to start driving in a foreign city with no previous driving experience, so why would you enter a long-term relationship without instruction or practice? Whether you’re newly dating, navigating marriage, or in need of help with a non-romantic relationship in your life, counseling provides you with a safe place to learn essential interpersonal skills.
Maybe You’re Curious If A Couples Therapist Could Help Your Relationship, But Don’t Know If Counseling Is Right For You…
My partner won’t agree to counseling.
It’s okay if your partner is not present in sessions—we can still do meaningful work in individual relationship counseling. The skills you learn in therapy will benefit all of your relationships, and maybe your partner will be inspired to join once they recognize all the progress you’re making!
I’m worried you’ll take sides in our relationship conflict.
In counseling, the marriage or relationship is our client—not the individuals in it.
Unlike your home environment, which may be emotionally charged or unconducive to calm and private conversations, the therapeutic environment is neutral, nonjudgmental, and safe. In this space, you can begin to see that couples counseling is not about being right—it’s about getting your relationship right. we are not here to take sides but to foster accountability, awareness, and empathy within your partnership as a whole.
Counseling will just make the problems in our marriage/relationship worse.
It’s true that therapy can bring painful or unacknowledged issues to the surface, but that’s because we’re confronting the problem head-on rather than avoiding it. Though you may think ignoring your relationship problems will save you pain and stress now, the truth is that the more you avoid the conflict, the worse it will become.
Therapy takes hard work, but it has the potential to create deep and lasting change in all of your relationships. So, even if counseling leads you to determine that your marriage problems can’t be reconciled and that separation or divorce is the next step, you can be confident in knowing that you did everything you could to revive your partnership.
Learn And Practice Skills for Healthy Relationships
Relationship counseling for individuals and couples can help you improve communication and develop emotional awareness whether you’re a new couple, in a long-term marriage, or navigating conflict in a non-romantic relationship.
To find out more about how we can help, please email us or call 817-887-8157 to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation.
Recent Posts
