Normalizing Taboo Topics Through Therapy - by Sara Beckham, MDiv, MACLP, LPC-Associate
If you did a quick google search right now about the top three things people shouldn’t talk
about, you would find:
1) Religion
2) Politics
3) Money
At least, that’s what popped up for me. But let’s be real. How many of us grew up with parents
that actively talked to us and informed us about sex and sexuality throughout our
developmental stages? The topic of sex would be another topic that people typically don’t talk
about. But the ironic thing is that it is these four topics that can cause us the most pain. The
early foundations we build about our beliefs about religion, politics, money, and sex can affect
us for the rest of our lives. If we believe in a religion that teaches that men and women should
act a certain way and in certain roles, we are going to have that belief ingrained in us even if we
actively choose an egalitarian relationship as adults. If we believe that sex is dirty and shameful
before marriage, then we carry that belief into our first sexual experiences and beyond
(whether they happen before or after marriage). If we believe that politics are too taboo and
can’t be discussed around the dinner table then we might not have the opportunity to openly
process the ways in which the system might be hurting us and our families. If we believe that
money matters should be dealt with behind closed doors, then we don’t understand how to
have conversations with our partners and children about building a budget, agreeing on a
budget, adhering to a budget. When we don’t talk about serious issues then we don’t fully
understand them. We don’t fully process them. We don’t fully allow ourselves to find a
community of advocates and empathizers. These are also issues that might get skipped over in
therapy. If someone comes to me and believes they can only talk to me about “mental health
issues” as opposed to topics of money, politics, religion, and sex and how those topics have
affected and continue to affect their mental health, then that is another missed opportunity to
reflect on, process, deconstruct, and reconstruct hurtful ideologies and belief systems that have
been built intrinsically and extrinsically into a person’s foundational worldview. So, this is my
encouragement to you-- If you are wanting and needing someone to speak with about those
top “topics that people shouldn’t talk about”, then call us. Or find another mental health
clinician that is also willing to talk about these issues. Either way, find an opportunity to reflect
on, process, deconstruct, and reconstruct your foundational worldview. Find someone to
process topics with that you struggle speaking about. Allow yourself to question. Allow yourself
to process. Allow yourself to find community, to find advocates, to find empathizers. Allow
yourself not to feel alone in your questions, your beliefs, your worldview, your ideologies.
Someone is out there willing to talk. Someone is out there willing to listen.
