Communication Tips For Partners
You constantly hear how important communication is in a relationship. When a couple is able to communicate in healthy ways, it can not only resolve conflict but prevent it entirely. Despite most knowing how important it is, the truth of the matter is that learning to communicate successfully is something most couples struggle with.
Like anything else in life, communication is something that just takes practice. Will it be perfect all the time? Wishful thinking, but unfortunately, that isn't likely going to happen. But even though things may never be the picture of perfection in a relationship, it doesn't mean you can't do little things to make it better.
Since so many couples aren't really sure how to improve communication, I want to take some time to give you some tips and tricks.
3 Tips For Improving Communication In A Marriage
1. Talk To Each Other...No, Really, Talk!
"But, talking is communicating, isn't it?" Well, yes. But communicating goes beyond just checking in with each other. "Did you take the garbage out?" "Can you pick up milk at the store?"
Most couples, over time, transition into a period where they don't actually talk. They make small talk with each other or quick texts. And while sometimes life gets too busy to try and devote to hours and hours of conversations - even just a 20 minute conversation each day will help.
But these conversations need to go beyond the surface level. Check in with them and their emotions. How are they truly feeling. Tell each other about the frustrating day you had at work. Or how your kids ended up really irritating you that day!
2. And Get Honest, While You Are At It
Note, that being honest does not mean to be cruel or harsh. If you are struggling with something they said to you or did, there is no reason to send shots firing off into the void. Thinking before you speak is always a crucial tip for communicating better with your partner.
In times of conflict, it is really common to just fire off whatever you are thinking in the moment. We all do it. We say what is on our mind without thinking of how it's going to come across or if it will hurt our partner. It's human nature, after all.
But in order to successfully communicate with one another, you should learn how to balance what you have to say with what they need to hear...and speaking of hearing...
3. Communicating Involves Talking...And Listening
Another thing that is in our human nature is to only want to talk and voice our opinion. It's natural to want to speak our minds because we believe that it's the voice that matters the most. But, remember that your partner feels this way too.
That's why sometimes, we end up into a cycle of conflict that never gets resolved. We are so concerned over what "I" have to say and not what "they" have to say.
Like taking a step back before you talk, take a moment to pause. What are they trying to say? What emotions and thoughts are they trying to express to you over a situation? When we look at conflict from this lens, it can often be resolved a little quicker.
Sometimes, Couples Need Extra Support
Raise your hand if you don't like asking for support or help? Another aspect of being a human that we are all guilty of. But sometimes, we can't forget a new path on our own and we need a little help to get us somewhere. It's no different for couples.
Many couples struggle with the idea of asking for support from an outside perspective, but sometimes that is exactly what you need. If you are ready to see how marriage counseling can help you learn to communicate better, reach out to me to get started.
